This post is the first half of a gift for my dearest friend.
We lost each other, a while back, when we were both struggling and fighting our own personal wars.
She moved away and carved her own path through the forest of unfairness and confusion that had been her life.
She pulled herself from the ashes of her past and rose, a Phoenix in her own right, displaying strength to surpass any warrior.
This is my friend.
I have never spoken to her about my childhood. I don’t speak about it, at all. My mom was a single mother. We were poor even though she worked full time. We lived in a rented single-wide mobile home and survived on Chef-Boyardee, splitting a can each night.
I remember finding my mother one afternoon frantically using a blue ink pen, attempting to color over the faded knees of a pair of jeans she had purchased for me at a yard sale. I’m not sure I ever wore clothes purchased straight from a store.
But I didn’t mind. Since I had never known any different, how was I supposed to know to mind wearing used $.25 jeans?
I didn’t understand until I was much older, but my mother taught me the most valuable lesson I would ever learn. She taught me to appreciate time.
We never had money for birthday parties or gifts. Christmas was no different than any other time of year. We were broke then too. She was never able to give me material presents, but somehow managed to find time to give me her presence.
In lieu of a birthday party, we would spend time together, leisurely walking by the lake at the local park. We would read books together (books that also came from yard sales).
She had that deep sense of knowing that comes with mother-hood and sometimes, mid-week, we would simply sit and watch TV together, just because she knew I needed her.
She was giving me her time.
Time is our one resource that is completely unpredictable. We never know how much we have been allotted and once it has passed, we can never retrieve it. Time can’t be replaced, traded or bought. Being a single parent and sole-provider, my mother had very little time to spare. The precious moments she spent with me could have been spent working and providing, cleaning and planning, or finding ways to relax from the constant stress, but she chose to spend that time with me.
This understanding followed me into adulthood, where I now have an even greater understanding of the passage of time. I may live another 50 years or my clock could run out before I finish typing this post. I am not always successful, but I strive to spend my time wisely. I choose to spend my time with the people I truly care about and doing things that light up my soul. I crochet with my daughter, hold hands with my husband while we watch TV, plant seeds and watch them grow, show my animals love and share my journey whenever possible.
My mother taught me by her actions, that the time taken to assure our loved ones they are indeed loved and never alone, is the finest way to spend our most precious resource.
I don’t think about giving material gifts the same way others might, but that doesn’t mean I don’t care. I care deeply which is why I am always texting a random crazy idea, sending a text or email to let them know that I love them or that they are on my mind and wishing them a good day.
I hope this helps my dearest friend understand me a bit better. Maybe this will help explain why I live as I do. I hope she understands that to me, a random text means that I’m thinking of her and hoping she doesn’t feel alone.
My friend collects mementos of those she cares about. She realized she did not have one from me. When she brought this to my attention, I initially felt bad because I had not thought to send her a gift before now. I haven’t neglected her though. I reach out to her regularly to assure she feels loved. I hope she understands that even though we live over a thousand miles apart, she is never alone.
For the second half of this gift, I decided to look for something specific on Amazon to send her as a memento of our friendship and I believe I have found the perfect present. It is sitting in my Amazon cart and I will click “buy” as soon as I can afford to do so. I just need a little time ;)
I love you, my friend!
This was beautiful, thank you. ❤️
We are very similar in our family, we have a value system that most don't understand. I recently bought 4 silver coins after seeing someone post a picture of one similar on here. One for each of us. We carry them with us at all times. A Memento so to speak 💀
Thank you for this important and gentle reminder.
Time is the most precious gift we can give to both ourselves and those we love and cherish. 💜